still alive, still writing up and still job hunting.
Dad has become obsessed with garden, it helps him escape reality so most of the time we leave him to it although his back is starting to suffer. I'm sure I've mentioned it before but just before I was born my father was in a car accident. They actually thought he was dead, he looked so bad but fortunately wasn't. However, several of the vertebrae in his back were broken, I'm not sure how it was that the spinal chord wasn't severed but there you have it. I was born a few months later and the story goes that my dad and I learnt to walk together. All this means is that at times his back acts up, when he has a few days off from work, when he's tense or when he over does like now.
Dad has actually said yes to us having a dog provided we ar approved by the rescue centers if we end up getting a rescue. Mum os now digging her heels in saying she wasn't approached at all about it. Only E is actually allowed to know this so shh!
Today is my brother's birthday. If he were alive, I'm not sure what we would be doing for it or even what he would be doing with his. Given he was doing an apprenticeship in the building when he died, it's most likely he'd be out of work or have emigrated. maybe he'd be settled down with kids by now. Who knows? Most of the times, it's better and then I'm suddenly overwhelmed with wishing he were still alive. I won't pretend that he was perfect, that we didn't fight or that there wasn't times I hated him because he could be the most irritating person and he knew exactly what to say to hurt me but at the end of the day he was my brother who would have done anything to make sure I was happy and safe and I loved him.
Thursdays is my dads birthday so the siblings and I have to go shopping tomorrow to get gift and ingredients for dinner. Wish us luck with the cooking.
Next month, I'm taking my driving test, already getting quite sick feeling in stomach.
Think I startled my mum with some stuff I said about cousin. I hadn't even thought of some of the crap she had pulled and put me through til this conversation. It's kinda of hard to put into words some of the things she said and did but I find the best thing is to keep my distance which is why I go out of my way not to see her when she comes home and when I do only in the company of other people or just before another appointment. Though that second option is often not needed since she'll ring and ring til you agree to meet and then discard you at a moments notice if she sees some one else she knows. She also only contacts me when she's coming to Ireland, I'll hear nothing all year and then a couple of weeks before she's due, I'll be bombarded.
Okay maybe I had a bit than I thought to write about. I hope everyone is okay and I want you to know that although I don't write or comment much I am thinking about you all and wishing you all the best. *hugs and chocolate to everyone getting this far*